Thursday, March 7, 2013

There's a snake in my boot (house)!


Apologies to Toy Story’s Woody, but I couldn’t resist. Seriously though, snake in the house.  Those of you who know me should then be saying, “so what?” I like snakes, never had trouble with them and had more than a few as pets. They’re nice, quiet, unassuming pets and feeding them is a snap. All my snakes have typically been a long the constrictor path.  After all, deadly things don’t belong in your kid’s glass aquarium. This one, this one was not.

I’d like to give a shout out to Mr. Kitty, Squiggles, for alerting me to the snakes presence.  I really don’t want to think about what would have happened if he hadn’t have said something. But I’m getting a head of myself.

I was making lunch and heard a sound behind one of the clay pots off to my left under my other table near the back door, and that’s when the cat meowed.  I thought he had found a toad and was harassing it.  They hide in the house during the day and make their way out at night to hunt for bugs.  While he never eats the toads he does bat them around a bit.  Remember how we learned in like 4th grade that under the Medieval Feudal system all the deer and wildlife in the forest belonged to the crown? Well we have that mandate in my house, it covers all toads and geckos.  I got their backs.  So naturally I wanted to shoo Mr. Kitty away and let the toad get on with sleeping the day away.

Keep in mind that this next part happens in about 5 seconds flat.  I turn, see a dark shape under the table, think it’s a toad because I’m stupid and didn’t have my glasses on.  At that instant I see droplets go flying past my head, where I had previously been standing. (Keep in mind 5 seconds) I think, toads don’t spit water, sure they pee if you pick them up but I don’t think their range is THAT good.  *Hissssss* Look again, and oh hey, that is a snake, snakesnakesnakesnake and it is kinda reared up, it’s black too.  Back up back up back up, did I see a hood? Where are my glasses? Get the pan off the stove!

By now I’m on the porch while my heart as done a couple laps around the yard and is waiting for me to catch up. I’m also going back and forth on what kind of snake it is and what to now do about it.  Is it a mamba? The mouth tissue looked black, that could be a shadow.  I’m really sure mambas can’t spit, can they flatten their neck some to make a hood? I don’t think they can……oh cobra.  There’s a cobra in the house?! What?!  

I remembered hearing about another volunteer that he saw a cobra and I remember thinking, “aw, I never get to see anything cool.” No, I’m good, changed my mind.  I’ve basically been kicked out of my house by a 4 foot reptile that, if it so chooses, and has decent timing and aim, can render you blind.  Good for you, good job Mary.  See what happens when you say your life is dull. Idiot. On the flip side though, there is a cobra in your house and that’s pretty cool, get the camera.

As I’m standing on the porch watching him in the house I’m trying to decide exactly what to do about it.  I will not send the dogs in after him, I’ve seen too many cases of snake bite in dogs here to do that.  The villagers would love to kill it but I am not dragging someone over here just to get them blinded.  So I decided that the best policy was to wait and see what he decided to do.  I don’t know, it just seemed like the plan with the lease possible casualties. After a couple more moments he left the same way he came in, under the door.  Then I realized I had a new problem, a poisonous snake in my yard, and I have a huge yard.  Thought: do I try and follow him, make sure he leaves the yard? If I don’t see where he goes what are the odds of running into him in the bafa? Or the chim? I do not want him literally catching me with my pants down.

By now I had my glasses on so I figured that afforded me some protection, I guess, and went around the front of the house to the back to see if I could spot him.  Mr. Kitty did! Brave good little Squiggs was running him off.  I started hucking rocks at it too and he left out the bottom of the fence and so far we haven’t seen him since.

I kept thinking about Steve Irwin aka The Crocodile Hunter, he has more than a few episodes where he deals with cobras. As he is holding it and it spits on his arm “Crikey! He’s a might agitated!” hee hee.  I grew up on that stuff, so see mom, I could have turned out worse.